First College Placement Finished!

Just under 2 weeks ago, I started my first ever College placement. As most of you know, I am studying a Course in Health and Social Care and as part of that course, you have to do 50 days of placements throughout 2 years.

This Placement was in a Care Homes Day Centre for elderly people with a wide range of different problems. I was extremely nervous about starting at first as i'd never done anything like this before but I survived and got on OK!

All of the staff at the Care Home have been great. They were all made aware about my RSD so were understanding if I couldn't do anything (though most things I could as it was only talking with the residents, pushing wheelchairs etc - nothing too physical because of my age).

The Day Centre had a wide variety of activities happening every day. I had to go for 6 hours Monday through to Friday so that I could get a taste of work life. It was hard because of my RSD as I got tired really easily but I got through it and am happy to say, I completed all of my 10 days.

The time seems to have gone really quick. It only seems like two minutes since I started at the Care Home. I have really been kept busy having to communicate with the residents, help serve dinners and set tables, help them participate in crafting activities etc. It's been really fun and I think I could definitley see myself in the Caring Profession.

I've developed a lot of skills during the 10 days I have been on placement and it's given me a real insight into work life. I've really improved confidence wise and am able to talk to people that I don't really know now which I wouldn't do before unless I was absolutely forced to.

My Placement Superviser has been really good. I met up with her today and she went through my placement booklet with me and commented on how well i've done. I was given a lovely box of chocolates from her and all of the residents when I left and a card which was really nice! All of the residents semt to like having a younger person in as they could talk about their grandchildren and things with me. They had lots of interesting things to say and said they were all sad to see me go with brought tears to my eyes!

Were talking about trying to get my second placement in a Child Care setting so i'm looking forward to that. Child Care is something i'm interested in so hopefully i'll enjoy it! My next placement isn't until April so at least we have plenty of time to organize it!

I need to catch up with all of my school work that i've missed now! I have been given some to do at home for college and school so will probably be busy with that over the weekend as it's back to college on Monday! Were hoping to have a meeting with school soon as the school centre I am at at the moment, doesn't seem to be giving me that much work so were going to discuss me going back to mainstream school or at least giving it another try. I'm not sure how that will work at the moment or whether i'll be able to cope with it but I guess we wont know until we give it a try. I'm just afraid that if I stay at the place i'm at now, I wont get all of the grades I need to go onto the higher level college course. Hopefully my school will be understanding and put me in a class with the few of my old friends that actually talk to me!

I'll keep you all posted! Thanks for the support!

Anniversary of Grandad's Death

Today, the 22nd November is a year to the day that my grandad passed away. Who'd have known a year ago that it would be the last time that we would all see my grandad, that he would be taken away from us just in a split second?

They always say that time heals things like this but I don't really believe that that is the case - it just gives you more time to think of all the things you are missing out on and that's what I have been doing today. It hurts SO much to know that I can't go to my nanans and see my grandads face again, go shopping with him. I guess it's the little things that I miss the most.

It seems so unfair that all of the good people are always taken away whilst other nasty people are still walking the Earth. My grandad was the best, yes we had our differences but he always cheered me up and that helped a lot. I still don't get to this day why my grandad was takwen away from us - the only conclusion that I can come up with is that Heaven was looking for an Hero and that was my grandad. He was my hero and always will be.

I'd give anything just to see his face one last time to let him know how much I loved him. It hurts a lot knowing that I can't see him and also knowing that he'll not be able to watch me grow up, have children have my own one day and be the loving grandfather to them that he was to me.

I start my College Placements tomorrow. I'm working in a Care Home for 2 weeks with old people. I'm really looking forward to it - i'm just glad it wasn't today as I don't think i'd have been able to cope. Every little thing has made me upset. I'm hoping that the RSD will 'behave' for a change during the placements. I'm going to try my hardest and try and make my grandad as proud as he made me.

Love you forever and always grandad. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you and wish you were here with us. You were the best and no one could ever replace you. I know you don't like seeing me sad but it's hard to cope with all this at times! Forever in our hearts!!!

Please Can I Have One???!!!? ...

Today as part of College, we went to a Care Home. Ever since then, my mum has been laughing at me as I seriously fell in love with all of the old people there LOL! They were all SO cute and seriously, I could have took them home with me if I was allowed to! The other girls that went to the Care Home were the same as me too! The teachers on my College Course are always saying that you should never become too attached to the patients but I bet it is really hard when they are so cute and loving!

The trip to the Care Home was really interesting. One of the carers showed us round. It was split up into 3 areas; there was a resident section where all of the old people went and lived / went to stay whilst their carers got a break etc, another part which was more specialised and was for elderly patients with Alzeihmers and Demention and another place for people between the ages of 18 and 60 with all sorts of different illnesses, drug and addiction problems etc.

We learnt a lot from the visit and they showed us all of the hoists that are used to lift patients, how they work etc. The whole idea of the Care Home visit was to prepare us for our first placement and give us an insight into what to expect and after today, I am really looking forward to my first placement!

Towards the end of the visit, we were asked to play Bingo with all of the residents which was really fun! I had to work with a lady who was deaf and mark all of the numbers down for her whenever they came out. She was so kind and sweet, always smiling and asking me to have the prizes as we won!

It was amazing to see how grateful the patients in the Care Home were when we went to see them! When we had to go, they kept thanking us for coming and said they really enjoyed themselves! It was SO nice being able to give something back to them and see the smiles on their faces!

I'm really looking forward to my first Placement which starts on the 23rd November for 2 weeks. It's not in the same place as we went today but it is in a Care Home so it should be really good!

My legs hurting a lot now! I think I did a little too much today and am paying for it. I have School in the morning tomorrow but then I can come back, relax and finish my assignment that has to be in on Wednesday for Child Development. I was supposed to have a Physio appt last week but my Physiotherapist is ill with Swine Flu so had to cancel ... it seems to be going round like wild fire at the moment! My College tutor was really ill with it a few weeks ago but is better now thankfully!

I want to thank you all for the continued support - it's really appreciated :-)!!

Update

I haven't updated my Blog for quite a long time so please accept my sincere apologies for that - things have been pretty hectic here lately so I haven't been able to get on the computer much!!

I started College about 3 weeks ago and am really enjoying it! It seems so strange saying that i'm at College as most people don't start until they are 16 years old and i'm only 14 lol!

I'm studying Society, Health and Development which is really interesting. We look at all 4 sectors of Health and Social Care such as Health, Child Care, Criminal Justice and Social Care so it's really interesting as you get a taste of all of the areas that you can go into, not just one!

I currently attend College 3 half days a week. At the moment, on a Monday, we are doing Communication, on a Wednesday afternoon we are doing Child Care and on a Thursday afternoon, we are doing Criminal Justice. I have learnt quite a lot since being on the Course. It is a LOT of hard work however, I don't think anyone really anticipated how hard it was going to be! Just today in fact, my tutor was saying that she thinks the course is a lot harder than most others and thinks it should be targeted more towards 16 year olds. She thinks that we will sail through it though as we are all commited to it.

I had my Placement induction day last week which was interesting. I found out that my first placement will start on the 23rd November and will be in a Care Home where I will have to look after old people etc. The placements last 10 days (2 school weeks) and we have to do 50 days of placements in all the 4 sectors to pass the course during the 2 years. Seeing as I am doing my first placement in a care home, all of the other kids will be doing it in another area and then we will swap so that it is fair.

I'm looking forward to my first placement, it's something that i'm interested in and I have heard that it's supposed to be quite interesting. It's worked out well as the Care Home is near where my mum works so she can take me there and pick me up as the College doesn't provide transport.

I've made a lot of great friends on the Course who have really helped me. They all know about my RSD and don't judge me because of it ... I guess it's easier for them to understand as they all want to go into the health care professions when they are older.

We are going on a trip to an Hospice next month so the course is quite hands on. Obviously, we wont be able to see all of the terminally ill patients because of our age but we will get to meet some of the patients that come in for day treatment etc. We are also helping to hold a Coffee Morning for the kids of terminally ill patients at the College sometime next month (we are arranging a day for that next week) so that should be fun!

When i'm not at College, I still attend the School centre so I am pretty busy every day now. It's been hard trying to get up for School and things but I guess it's something I have to do in order to succeed.

My mum has paid for me to do a Science course at home to take some of the extra burden off me however, I still have to go to School to do Science lessons once a week for 2 hours. I started going back to School last week and was terrified ... I hadn't seen any of the kids for nearly 2 years and I was so nervous as to what they'd say etc! I'm still not keen on going to School once a week as it is really stressful but I need to do it to pass my College Course.

The School has arranged for a lady to come and sit with me during my Science lessons. She is really nice but sometimes, I just wish she would leave me on my own to do my lessons and talk to people instead of treating me like a baby! I don't always like attention being drawn towards my ilness ... I just want to try and be as 'normal' as I can!! With her there, it sometimes feels as though it is drawing more attention towards my illness. I think she has to be there though as the School was scared incase I spilled anything during the lessons etc.

My great uncle sadly passed away last week. He had been ill for quite a long time now and deteriated further. I wanted to go to the funeral but my great grandma was being awkward saying that I shouldn't go and that it wasn't a place for kids to go ... she's really old fashioned when it comes to things like that! My aunty is quite upset so we have told her that we will go and spend some time with her to keep her company.

My mum and I have been asked to go to the House of Commons in London on the 27th November to speak to all of the MPs and maybe even Gordon Brown about Schools not supporting kids with a chronic illness. My Dr knew that I have had tons of problems with my education and school not understanding so thought it would be great for us to go and talk to them and hopefully, it will change things for the better! I'm really looking forward to going and really hope people will finally see sense and start improving schools ... it's bad enough dealing with RSD let alone schools being awkward too!

My RSD has been flaring up quite a bit. I think that the extra pressures of school / college and the weather changes haven't been helping. I'm finding that on a weekend, all I tend to do is collapse and spend most of the days in bed ... it's sort of like my body can't take any more by that point and shuts down! I have my Physio appointment next week, I haven't been for quite a while so i'm hoping they will be able to suggest somethings that might help.

Apologizes again for 'abandoning' my Blog! I will try and update it more regulary! I hope you are all doing well!

Happy Birthday Grandad!

Tomorrow, the 19th August, would have been my grandads Birthday. He sadly passed away last year after a major heart attack. It's SO hard knowing that i'll not be able to celebrate his Birthday with him. I'd give anything to see his face one last time and let him know how much I loved him. He was the best grandad anyone could ever wish for; yes we had our differences and he didn't understand my ilness but he always cheered me up when I was feeling down and I knew he cared deeply about me and for that, I could never, ever thank him enough.

It was my nanans Birthday today so I went to see her. My nanan and grandads Birthday are a day apart and they were the same age for a day!

We took my nanan some flowers and whilst we were visiting her, my cousion, aunty, uncle and cousions kids came. I hadn't seen them in a while so it was nice to see them. They brought some flowers for my grandads Birthday wish we went and put in the garden. When my grandad died, my nanan scattered his ashes in the garden and we got a rose bush that we named after him. His favourite place was in the garden so it made sense to scatter his ashes there.

It was SO hard laying the flowers. I think it hit us all that this would be his first Birthday that we wouldn't be able to celebrate together. We always did something on my grandads Birthday so it was so hard knowing that we wouldn't be able to this year.

Whilst my nanan and I were sat in the house, some of her cards kept falling down. It sort of felt as though my grandad was letting us know that he was still here with us, wishing my nanan a happy Birthday and letting us know that he was still looking over us. I never believed in ghosts or spirits before my grandad died but I do now - I know it sounds strange but I truly believe that a few times after my grandad died, I have 'seen' him and my nanan and dad have said the same thing too.

My nanan said she had a nice Birthday but it was obvious that she was upset, as we all were. I really wish I could spend my grandads Birthday with him and let him know how much I cared about him. I'd give anything to see his face one last time.

I decided to dedicate this blog post to my grandad. I miss him SO much but deep down, I think I know that even though he has gone physically unfortunately, he will always be looking down on us and watching out for us. Memories keep loved ones close to our hearts and well, they certainly did in my grandads case!

"If tears could build a staircase
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again'

Happy Birthday Grandad, I miss you so much and would do anything to see your face one last time!

R.I.P - Gone but never Forgotten!

To all of my blog readers, please take the time today to let your loved ones know how much you care about them. So many things went unsaid when my grandad died and I always promised myself that i'd never let the same thing happen again. Lifes too short and you must let people know how much you love them as you never know whats around the corner!!

Love you grandad! Always in my heart. I was so proud to be able to call you my grandad and I scincerly hope I can make you half as proud of me as you did me! xxx

For Everyday I play, I have to set aside a day to pay...

I was reminded of this today. I really hate how whenever you try and do something with RSD, you always pay for it the next day.

It was my mums Birthday yesterday so we went to the theme park, Alton Towers. One of my friends and her mum came with us too which was really nice.

The theme park is really big and although we took lots of breaks, my leg REALLY hurt. Because I have RSD, we get a disabled pass which means that we can get on the rides straight away which is easier as at least that way, we don't have to wait around for ages to get on them.

We got on quite a few rides. They hurt my leg quite a lot as they threw us around but I didn't want to ruin it for my friend and mum so decided to go on them. My friends mum has just had back surgery so couldn't go on a lot of the rides so my mum went and sat with her most of the day to keep her company.

I really enjoyed yesterday but have really been paying for it today!!! I have been in bed all day and only got in the bath tub and that took all of the energy out of me. I really hate that no matter how much you try and not let RSD rule your life, it always seems to. It's SO hard trying to plan a trip out somewhere as I always know that i'm going to pay for it the next day if I overdo things. We took it pretty easy yesterday but I guess RSD has a mind of it's own!! It really gets to me at times when I see my friends out and about having fun and i'm sat in the house because of RSD - I just wish I could be a normal, carefree teenager!!!

Heres some of the pictures of my friend, Jess and I on some of the rides.

Me and Jess on the Runaway Mine Train. It's only a pretty small ride for young kids but it lasts quite a while so was good for a sit down!!



Jess and I on Rita: Queen of Speed. I love this ride and so did Jess! It goes from 0 to 60mph in 2.5 seconds!!



Me and Jess on Air. This ride is so strange - one minute you are sat upright and the next you know, you are laid flat on your stomach!! When it goes upside down, you are laid on your back - so cool!!! I'm not sure what happened to my fingers on this pic - it looks like i've got an additional finger lol!!




I'm off to go and lay down now as it's getting pretty late over here and i'm tired and hurting. I'm hoping that if I can get a good nights sleep, i'll feel better tomorrow!

Update And A Sorry !!

I'm sorry that I haven't updated my blog in quite a while. I haven't been feeling too well lately and have been pretty busy trying to sort things out with school. I feel so bad for neglecting my blog but hope you will all understand!

It's the Summer holidays over here in the UK at the moment and i'm SO glad that they have finally arrived! It's SO nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about getting up at 7am every morning to get ready for school when i'm not feeling too good! We get 7 weeks off and will start school again about the 9th September.

It's hard to believe that when I go back to school, I will also be going to college to undertake the Health and Social Care Course!!

We had a meeting a few weeks back with my school, the school centre and college to see what I will be doing from September and I have been stressing about it ever since! My School are trying to force me into going back to school despite telling them god knows how many times that I cannot cope with all of the walking involved and that my so-called 'friends' haven't been in touch with me for nearly 2 years now!

My teachers keep saying that I HAVE to go back to do my Science lessons and Citizenship otherwise I will fail all of my exams so they have sort of got us over a barrel! I don't want to go back to school as that would risk making my health even worse again (everytime I go back I end up in some flare) but on the other hand, I really want to pass my exams!

The School has decided that I can go to the School centre still but I MUST go back for Science, Citizenship, RE and some other lessons so that will mean that from September, I will be all over the place!

On a Monday morning, I will be at college and then at school in the afternoon.
Tuesdays, I will be at the school centre and then school.
Wednesday, I will be at school in the morning and then college
Thursday, I will be at the school centre in the morning and then college
Fridays, I will be at the school centre and then school.

I have been really scared about going back to school. I just don't want to go back and risk making my health worse and my 'friends' have clearly demenstrated that they could care less about me! My teachers sort of forced me into going back - they told me that I could say if that was OK and that they would ask for my input but they never did and i'm not the sort of person that will say if i'm not happy with something - guess it comes from my Type A personality!

My mum is currently trying to enroll me into a Science course at home so hopefully that way, I wont have to worry about going back to school and can do that at home. The college course is going to be stressful enough so I don't need to worry about having to worry about anything else!!!

We have a meeting next week with my college tutors about the placements to see how they can best accomadate me so hopefully that will go well! They want to try and make sure that I am as safe as possible during the placements so that I don't risk making my RSD any worse. Some of the employees have been a bit worried about giving me placements because of my RSD but my mum works in childrens services so it worked out well in the end as she was able to find me some placements :-) !!

I had a Physio appointment yesterday. It was the first one I have had in a while as my Physios felt I needed a break to see if that would help any. It didn't unfortunately and my knee has still been creaking a lot.

My Physio's did some gentle exercises with me as my knee still wont move much and they were really painful! They are still wanting to look into Botox as a last resort but i'm not sure if I am willing to take the risk of making things worse, especially seeing as though the nerve block and ingrown toenail removal made me worse. We were told that if we decided to give the botox a shot, they would send me to Great Ormond Street Hospital in the UK as that is the leading childrens hospital and they have a specialist botox clinic so should know what they are doing.

It's such an hard decision to make, I really want the Dystonia to go away but on the other hand, I don't want to risk making my RSD worse or ending up being in a wheelchair again! I guess it's a matter of weighing up the pro's and con's and then making an informed decision.

I don't have an appointment to see my Physio's until the end of August now as they still feel that I need a break from physio to see if that would help any. They basically don't want to do too much work on me until the inflammation on my knee settles down which could take quite a while unfortunately.

My mum and I are off to Spain at the end of August so i'm really looking forward to that! We are going to see my grandad for a week so i'm hoping that the break will do us both some good! He has a pool also so hopefully, I might be able to do some pool work whilst there too!

Thanks for reading and I apologize again for not posting a lot lately - I'll make sure I post more soon!!