Merry Christmas Everybody!!

I would just like to take this time to wish all of my fellow Blog Readers a very Merry Christmas and I hope you all got everything you wished for and that you had fun with your friends and family and got to create many happy memories that you will be able to treasure forever. Thank You all so much for taking the time out to read my blog and to comment - I truly appreciate it and know a lot of the time, I ramble but it really helps me to be able to get my feelings out and I love reading all of the comments from people! I hope that 2009 is a great year for you all and that you are blessed in every way imaginable!!

This Christmas was pretty tough for us this year as it is the first Christmas without my grandad and we all miss him SO much! Christmas just isn't the same without him; he was always the one that would buy us all little novelty gifts and would ALWAYS have to have the best Christmas trimmings on the street - he loved Christmas and spending time with his friends and family!

I got lots really good presents. My mum and dad got me an IPhone which I have wanted for absolutely ages but never been able to afford! I absolutely love it and haven't put it down since I got it yesterday morning!! I also got lots of lovely designer clothes and shoes that will be comfortable for my RSD leg, a new handbag, Me-to-You teddy bears, Chocolates, Skin Care and Make-up and so much more!! I also have quite a bit of money from my nanan and uncles so we are going to the Christmas Sales today to see if we can get anything!!

We had a nice Christmas dinner yesterday. We didn't have Turkey has non of us really like it so we had Chicken instead and it was lovely. My mum also made a Chocolate Cake for desert that was so delicious!!

We also went and spent some time with my grandma to make sure she was OK. She said she was fine but she was really quiet which isn't like her - I think it's hit her really hard with it being the first Christmas without my grandad. We spent about 4 hours with her and she loved the presents that we got her - we got her some shoes and a book and are going to take her for a vacum cleaner when she has picked one she wants. My Uncle has asked her to go for a meal with him tomorrow so that should be nice for her as it will get her out of the house for a bit - he also wants her to go to stay with him for a week for the New Year but I don't think she wants to go as she feels it is too soon at the moment and doesn't really want to leave home.

I miss my grandad SO much but I know that life has to go on somehow, even though it is extremely difficult to do so. I know my grandad would want us all to try and have some fun as he loved Christmas so that is what we are going to try and do and I also know he will be looking down on us and will never leave our side, even though we can't see or talk to him in person unfortunately.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and I wish you all a Very Happy New Year!

It's Nearly Christmas Already!!

I can't believe it's only 9 days until Christmas!! We haven't even got our Christmas tree up yet, usually, I am making my mum get the tree up by the 1st December but this year, nobody can be bothered to go and put it up with everything that has happened with my grandad. Non of us are really looking forward to Christmas this year but we will probably try and get the tree up tomorrow as I know my grandad wouldn't want us all to not celebrate as he loved Christmas so much and it was his best time of year as he got to spend time with him family and friends.

Christmas wont be the same without my grandad. He was always the one that made us laugh by coming out with stupid little jokes, bought me extra-special presents, made us get the Christmas tree and kept buying little novelty gifts for everyone. My grandad was the life and soul of Christmas, I always loved going round to his house and spending lots of quality time with him and reflecting back on memories.

I don't have any other grandad that lives in the Country so I think that is what is making me feel more upset and depressed. My other grandad (Mums dad), lives in Spain with his wife and isn't going to be coming to see us this year. He lives about 3 hours away from us and says he wants us to go and see him but it would cost a lot of money to get a flight and it is simply money we can't afford. It is always left to us to go and see my grandad and he never wants to come over here. He never likes spending money so I guess that is one of the main reasons why he doesn't come and see us but still, we are his family and he should be here with us!!

At the moment, I feel like I am grieving over 2 people and it makes me really upset to think that my grandad who has just died, didn't want to leave us but had to and my other grandad just left us because he wanted to. My mum is a bit sick of what my grandad is doing to us also and she has said that to him many times but it never seems to sink in and he just goes on about how happy he is over there and how he wouldn't change it for the world. I'm happy that he's happy, don't get me wrong, i'm just upset that he isn't here and wont be spending Christmas with us as a family.

We have got most of our Christmas shopping done now. My mums ordered most of it online as I didn't feel like going and looking round all of the shops for presents. We don't have a clue what to get my nanan, we want to get her something special but don't know what she would like. We were thinking about taking her to London for the day to watch a Musical so that I could spend plenty of time with her for a treat but we don't know what she would like to go and see really. We've got her a cookery book as she loves cooking but want to get her something else for a treat.

My mums arranged for me to go and have a beauty makeover for Christmas. She wasn't going to tell me but had to because I was going to tell my great grandma to get me it!! It is something that I have always wanted to do; I don't want to be a model or anything but I always think it's nice giving your family something that they can treasure and hang in their homes. I will be getting my hair and make-up done and then will have professional pictures taken of me in lots of lovely clothes (we have to take our own so I think we'll be going on a shopping spree when the sales are on!).

I've been trying to channel my enery in a positive way to try and shake this depression that I feel I have coming on. Felicia has really helped me and told me that everytime I feel depressed, to think about the nice things that I have coming up after Christmas and think that my grandad would want to see me happy. It really does help when I remember to do it - I have been leaving post-it notes everywhere reminding myself that when I feel depressed, I have to channel my energy in a positive way!!

Merry Christmas everyone - I hope you all have a great time with your friends and family and get all of the presents you wished for!!!