Happy Birthday Grandad!

Tomorrow, the 19th August, would have been my grandads Birthday. He sadly passed away last year after a major heart attack. It's SO hard knowing that i'll not be able to celebrate his Birthday with him. I'd give anything to see his face one last time and let him know how much I loved him. He was the best grandad anyone could ever wish for; yes we had our differences and he didn't understand my ilness but he always cheered me up when I was feeling down and I knew he cared deeply about me and for that, I could never, ever thank him enough.

It was my nanans Birthday today so I went to see her. My nanan and grandads Birthday are a day apart and they were the same age for a day!

We took my nanan some flowers and whilst we were visiting her, my cousion, aunty, uncle and cousions kids came. I hadn't seen them in a while so it was nice to see them. They brought some flowers for my grandads Birthday wish we went and put in the garden. When my grandad died, my nanan scattered his ashes in the garden and we got a rose bush that we named after him. His favourite place was in the garden so it made sense to scatter his ashes there.

It was SO hard laying the flowers. I think it hit us all that this would be his first Birthday that we wouldn't be able to celebrate together. We always did something on my grandads Birthday so it was so hard knowing that we wouldn't be able to this year.

Whilst my nanan and I were sat in the house, some of her cards kept falling down. It sort of felt as though my grandad was letting us know that he was still here with us, wishing my nanan a happy Birthday and letting us know that he was still looking over us. I never believed in ghosts or spirits before my grandad died but I do now - I know it sounds strange but I truly believe that a few times after my grandad died, I have 'seen' him and my nanan and dad have said the same thing too.

My nanan said she had a nice Birthday but it was obvious that she was upset, as we all were. I really wish I could spend my grandads Birthday with him and let him know how much I cared about him. I'd give anything to see his face one last time.

I decided to dedicate this blog post to my grandad. I miss him SO much but deep down, I think I know that even though he has gone physically unfortunately, he will always be looking down on us and watching out for us. Memories keep loved ones close to our hearts and well, they certainly did in my grandads case!

"If tears could build a staircase
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again'

Happy Birthday Grandad, I miss you so much and would do anything to see your face one last time!

R.I.P - Gone but never Forgotten!

To all of my blog readers, please take the time today to let your loved ones know how much you care about them. So many things went unsaid when my grandad died and I always promised myself that i'd never let the same thing happen again. Lifes too short and you must let people know how much you love them as you never know whats around the corner!!

Love you grandad! Always in my heart. I was so proud to be able to call you my grandad and I scincerly hope I can make you half as proud of me as you did me! xxx

For Everyday I play, I have to set aside a day to pay...

I was reminded of this today. I really hate how whenever you try and do something with RSD, you always pay for it the next day.

It was my mums Birthday yesterday so we went to the theme park, Alton Towers. One of my friends and her mum came with us too which was really nice.

The theme park is really big and although we took lots of breaks, my leg REALLY hurt. Because I have RSD, we get a disabled pass which means that we can get on the rides straight away which is easier as at least that way, we don't have to wait around for ages to get on them.

We got on quite a few rides. They hurt my leg quite a lot as they threw us around but I didn't want to ruin it for my friend and mum so decided to go on them. My friends mum has just had back surgery so couldn't go on a lot of the rides so my mum went and sat with her most of the day to keep her company.

I really enjoyed yesterday but have really been paying for it today!!! I have been in bed all day and only got in the bath tub and that took all of the energy out of me. I really hate that no matter how much you try and not let RSD rule your life, it always seems to. It's SO hard trying to plan a trip out somewhere as I always know that i'm going to pay for it the next day if I overdo things. We took it pretty easy yesterday but I guess RSD has a mind of it's own!! It really gets to me at times when I see my friends out and about having fun and i'm sat in the house because of RSD - I just wish I could be a normal, carefree teenager!!!

Heres some of the pictures of my friend, Jess and I on some of the rides.

Me and Jess on the Runaway Mine Train. It's only a pretty small ride for young kids but it lasts quite a while so was good for a sit down!!



Jess and I on Rita: Queen of Speed. I love this ride and so did Jess! It goes from 0 to 60mph in 2.5 seconds!!



Me and Jess on Air. This ride is so strange - one minute you are sat upright and the next you know, you are laid flat on your stomach!! When it goes upside down, you are laid on your back - so cool!!! I'm not sure what happened to my fingers on this pic - it looks like i've got an additional finger lol!!




I'm off to go and lay down now as it's getting pretty late over here and i'm tired and hurting. I'm hoping that if I can get a good nights sleep, i'll feel better tomorrow!