As most of my blog readers know, I lost my grandad 3 weeks ago and I also run a support forum for people with RSD and their friends and family.
I have been SO stressed with everything that has been going off in my life and my familes and was frustrated on the forum when I posted a message and no-one replied to what I had written. I guess I just felt like I had done so much for the forum but no one semt to want to help and support me when I needed someone to talk to. My mum noticed the post before I did so she posted a message saying that she was frustrated and angry that not many people were replying to my posts even though I am going through a very rough time right now but still take the time to reply to others. She also mentioned that she felt now was the time to take a break from the forum and maybe step down from being an Administrator, at least until I can get things back onto an even keel.
After I saw the message that my mum had wrote, I also posted a message saying that I too was frustrated with people that weren't replying to my posts. I didn't put anything nasty but I just said that I felt now was the time I stopped doing everything on the forum. People then replied saying that I had hurt their feelings and that basically what I was saying wasn't true and that they are all there to support me even though some of them have not been. Just the other day, I was talking to someone on Yahoo IM and they knew what had happened with my grandad but still persisted in telling me about how bad their life is, in the end I ended up having to say I had to go because they were really annoying me.
Some people on the forum (especially Felicia) have been great but with others, I just feel like everything has been left to me and that I am having to do everything even though i'm not feeling well myself. I just can't understand why people can't seem to understand what I am saying and realise that I need to take a break otherwise I am going to end up going into a huge flare!!!
I've still decided though that I need to take some time to myself, to relax and just unwind and take care of myself and my family. There is just too much going off right now in my life without having to worry about the forum all of the time.
Hopefully, once I am feeling better, I will be able to go on the forum more but it's just so frustrating that people can't see things from my point of view and realise that once in a while, I may need to take a break!!
I'd like to take this time to thank a few people also that have helped me so much and always been there for me no matter what:
Felicia (Alessea) - Thank you ever so much for being here for me and everything that you have done for me. You have helped me so much more than you know and I could never thank you enough for seeing things from my point of view with the forum and for understanding. You are the best friend anyone could wish for and I could never thank you enough!
Lisa (Lisa_Moon) - Thank you ever so much for taking the time out to read my blog and comment, it really helps knowing that people are here to listen to me let off steam and I could never thank you enough also ((hugs)). I really hope things are better for you and that you have settled into your new home now!
My mum - Thank you so much for always being here for me and for supporting me 100% in everything I do. I could never in a million years thank you for all of the support you have given me - you're the best! I love you so much!
Tailing Trout at Little Pine Lagoon this morning.
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Only a light northerly blowing as I fished Tailers Shore.
Trout were tailing but illusive. Two other anglers landed fish, one a good
21/2lb. The rest of us...
11 years ago
4 comments:
Thank you Alison.
They seem such simple words but I know you will understand the heartfelt meaning behind them. I am thankful for you also and Lisa and I also am thankful that you have your Mum and you know that from our recent conversation.
Take heart and replenish your soul, we are holding your hand as we walk along the rsd path together.
Thank you for your honesty and kind words, Alison.
Yes, I am settling into my new home nicely. It's an incredible relief and joy to not have to climb stairs just to use my loo! It has made a huge difference in my energy levels already. I'm working on unpacking slowly, making sure I don't overdo it after suffering a bit of a flare post-move (pretty hard to move without overdoing it somehow).
I feel badly now, as I joined the forum around the time of my move, but I honestly haven't had the time to log in yet and investigate. Please know I do make an effort to stop by your blog here and say hello as often as I'm able. I really do enjoy reading your posts and admire your honest writing style and your courage. As I untangle myself from my packed boxes, I look forward to discovering the wonderful forum you have lovingly created.
I don't want to justify peoples' behaviour, but I know for myself that sometimes when I read things people have written online, I'm not sure if it's 'meant for' me to read/comment on, if that makes sense. And sometimes people just don't know what to say.
HOWEVER, you are absolutely correct that you are going through a very difficult time and it's more than reasonable for people to be listening to you and hopefully their troubles can take a backseat for a while as you work through your grief. This would be ideal, but I've found the world is far from ideal and for that, I am sad for us all!
I'm very thankful to have connected with you as it helps me to not feel so alone with this frightening disorder. And now, as you mourn the loss of your grandad, it's perfectly acceptable and, in fact, I would encourage you to write as you feel, not to please others.
If you need to take a break from the forum, by all means, please do. I'm surely repeating myself, but you cannot expect to help others until you've helped yourself.
It sounds like your mum is a wonderful support for you and I'm so pleased to know you have each other.
What's neat about connecting with you and Felicia online is our sense of shared understanding, the relief of knowing that someone else really 'gets' what you have been dealing with as you grapple with RSD.
As Felicia said, we're here to offer our hands in support to each other.
Be kind to yourself. It sounds a bit strange to say, perhaps, but it might be good to give yourself permission to feel those feelings of frustration, anger and so on so that you can eventually move on from them.
Thinking of you,
Lisa
Sorry for the long comments; I do tend to ramble, but know my intent was heartfelt warm wishes. :)
Thank you Lisa and Felicia for your kind words, I truly appreciate them and am really glad that you all understand what i'm saying about having to take time off from the forum to relax and take care of myself and my health. The last thing I wanted was to sound like a total b*tch so i'm glad you all understand ((hugs))!
It really helps knowing that people are here to listen and support and I could never thank you both enough for what you have done!
Lisa - So glad to hear that you are settling into your new home nicely - it sounds really nice!! Please don't worry about not being on the forum that much, I know you have a lot going on and it will always be there when you feel up to posting! I hope to see you on the forum soon and get to know you better!
I hope you are both doing OK. Thanks again for your kind words, I think of you more as my family than my friends!
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